What is now.

Where am I now?
Where are you now?
Where are we now?

Calculated turns toward
Runnings from the hidden
Future that's to come.
Am I really forgiven?

Lost in abysmal state
Wringing out your towel
Your time will come in time
But I ponder just the "how"

Stuck inside a solace
That no one wants to break,
Forgiving tears run rampant
Were they truly this high, the stakes?

I am here.
You are here.
We are here. What is now.

Can you hear me now?

Listen to what's around you.

Do you have any idea what is going on in your brain, in your ears, in the air in order for you to hear what you hear? So much is going on!

In my Communication Disorders class we recently started the Audiology Unit and I have just been fascinated by the things I'm learning. Did you know that the smallest bones in the human body are found in your ears? Do you know why those bones are there?

The ingenuity that a person would need to have to come up with such a mechanism as the human ear is incomprehensible. I'm sure it's not even doable. No human could have ever come up with a structure so brilliantly designed and elaborately laid out.

Did you know that little tiny "trapdoors" in hairs in your inner ear transform mechanical energy into electrical energy by allowing ions to pass through into the negative-ion-filled inner hairs? Neither did I!

The workings of the human body are so incredible. So magnificent. So unfathomable. I can't even begin to think of all the different reactions, neural firings, or cellular growth that is happening in my body right now. And to think that our body just does it. We don't even need to think about it. This just puts me in a stupor.

To waste your body away, to not take care of it, to abuse this wonderful gift you've been given would be so ignorantly stupid.

So why do we do it? I guess we just need some sense knocked into our heads.

Embarciendo...

¡Buenos días! Yo ercribiré sobre unas ideas que están en mi mente de canciones nuevas y cosas de la vida. También voy a hablar de cambios a mi blog y de música y lo que se pone buena o mala.

Well, I've basically written my first song, "By Your Side." It's a love song about a very generic relationship and a man's wishes to be by a woman's side and his promise to be by her side. It's got some modern pop influences as well as musical theatre and ballad influences. And I'm actually very proud of it. I came up with just about everything in a day and have been tweaking a few things here and there. I'm hoping to have it recorded and up on YouTube by next week.

In the meantime I'll be working on some other songs; I'm in the process of writing another song - not sure of the title yet - but, of course it's about love. However, it's a bit more reminiscent of "Firework" by Katy Perry. Not super-deep love - maybe just a crush. Also, I have been working on a cover of "Kiss With a Fist" by Florence + the machine and I'm very excited to get that one finished.

In other news, I'm headed home this weekend to spend a weekend with my family and a few friends and I'm incredibly excited. I plan on visiting some grandparents and hanging out with some friends, going to church and simply sleeping in my own bed! Also, there's going to be SWEET TEA! Not the fake stuff like it is in the dining hall, but legit, boiled-on-the-stove, sugar-added, iced sweet tea. And Chickfila! Which reminds me, I should probably start packing.

Also, I'm going to be redesigning my blog - particularly the header, so look for something good!

Now, this is where I want some feedback:

What makes you like a song? What makes you move? What kind of lyrics do you just love?

I'm mostly just curious because I think everyone has a unique perspective on the topic.

Have an awesome weekend :)

All These Possibilities...

I've been prompted to elaborate on the many different life plans/opportunities that I have been contemplating. There are many different ones, but I'm going to list the ones that are on the top of my mind (not necessarily in order because I'm confused by all of the different opportunities).

1. In this plan I would graduate from *Northwestern University with a degree in Communication Sciences and Disorders and then proceed to apply to Graduate School. Throughout the rest of my years at Northwestern I would be a YoungLife leader for the Northshore branch of YL and would be spending a lot of time with high school kids. YoungLife and school would be the focus of my life.
2. In this plan I would graduate from *Northwestern University with a degree in Communication Sciences and Disorders. I would take the MCAT and hopefully score well enough to get into Medical School - particularly the University of Cincinnati's Medical School. I would go on to study Otolaryngolgy (ENT) and have about 4-5 additional years of schooling along with 5 years of residency. I would maybe be a YoungLife leader for the Northshore during my years at Northwestern. Similarly, when I'd return to Cincinnati, I'd be a YoungLife leader there.
3. In this plan I would transfer to the University of Cincinnati and begin my sophomore year of college there still studying Communication Sciences and Disorders. My reason for transferring would be to become a YoungLife leader in Southeast Cincinnati. I would finish my Undergraduate Degree there and then probably enter the Graduate School there.
4. In this plan I would embark on starting a music career, focused in the pop-indie genre. I would start writing songs and doing covers of songs. I'd post these videos on youtube as well as writing to record labels all over and sending in demos. Preferably, I would complete my Undergraduate Degree at Northwestern. However, it's hard to make this plan concrete because of all of the different steps that would need to occur.

* denotes the possibility of finishing my Undergraduate Degree by the end of my Junior year

Might I add that there have also been plans to get my private pilot's license so that I could fly small aircraft. Also, I am well aware that Plan 4 is not incredibly realistic - but, I can dream, right? I actually wrote my first song yesterday and have a list of a few songs that I'd like to cover. Also, I can very easily work on this "music career" while in school. Therefore, I'll basically combine Plan 4 with the rest of my plans.

So many possibilities. Which to choose? Maybe I don't even need to choose one. Perhaps one will be chosen for me. They're all decent plans. But then again, who am I to plan out my life? I'm foolish to think that I can "plan" my life or that I can control anything. My life could change in an instant and I would have nothing to do with it.

All in all, I guess I'm just a daydreamer. I like to imagine all of my possibilities and the assortment of fun things that I could do in my life. But, never say never!

Where to go?

What's next? What are my life goals? What am I headed toward?

I find myself asking these questions constantly. I really wish I knew what my life was going to end up like. I have so many decisions and opportunities in front of me and I have no idea which ones to pursue. I swear to you, I have at least five different plans for the next 10-15 years of my life, ranging from going to medical school to pursuing a music career. And I just have no idea what its best for my life or which one I would enjoy the most. I'm so incredibly conflicted right now and I feel as if I'm just going to be sucked into the typical american life - go to college, get a job, stay a family. And, frankly, I'm not a typical person but I find myself getting sucked into all of these norms all the time. Not to say that I'm special, or more special than others, I just feel like I have a unique outlook on a lot of things.

I thought about posting my different life plans, but then realized how crazy and ridiculous some of them seem. Also, I'm posting from my phone and that would be a lit of typing. Perhaps I'll elaborate more tomorrow.

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/Under Construction\

My last post was in November of 2009. That was a long time ago. There is a lot that I could update you on, but, seeing as it's 11:00 p.m. here in Chicago, I will save it for the morning. Oh, and I need to start doing my homework some time.

Cooollllleeegggeee

So...

At the moment, I am writing a college essay for The ____ _____ __________. (Try to guess the name). I'm also glancing at everything I need to do for all of my other colleges. I thought I needed a break from it so I decided to blog because it's cool...

And now I forget what I was going to blog about.

Let's talk about...

... people? No. I'm tired of them.
... school? Ahhhhh. Sick of it.
... food? It's pretty good stuff but I'm not interested.
... music? Yes. Yes. Let's talk about music...

I'd really love to perform in Jason Robert Brown's show The Last Five Years. It's such an interesting and dynamic musical. Two characters, going through a divorce. One starts at the end of the divorce and recounts the memories. One starts at the beginning of the divorce. They meet in the middle. It's such an interesting idea. Very different. But, then again, aren't artists very different from everyone else. (I still need to get his Songs For A New World)

On another note, I downloaded Celine Dion's discography and was ecstatic when it was finally all downloaded. But my excitement was stifled when it was some weird file type - APE and CUE? Does anybody know what those file types are?

Also, I really love Scott Alan's music. It's pretty fantastic. I listened to Lisa Brescia sing his And There It Is and I loved it. He's a pretty good lyricist. Some of my favorites of his are Home (Shoshana Bean) , Behind These Walls , Blessing , Kiss the Air (Natalie Weiss) , How Did This All Begin? , Say Goodbye (Natalie Weiss) , and many more.

And then there's Natalie Weiss. She's freaking awesome! Just watch some videos of her on youtube. She went to Penn State for Musical Theatre and I'm applying to Penn State, considering their Musical Theatre program, but it's super competetive.

In news pertaining to my life, I will be singing Sweet Little Jesus Boy on December 4th at 7:00 at the A Cappella Chamber Choir concert. I'm excited. :)

El Fin.

P.S. I like cheese. My family buys it in bulk.

Sometimes it's the smallest things that reveal the biggest things.

Caffeine Please?

So, I'm supposed to be studying intently for exams right now, but there is this thing on my lap called a computer that tends to distract me a lot.

This past week was such a long week. It was incredibly long and tiresome. Here was my past week's schedule.

Monday
- Rehearsal 2:30 - 5:00
Tuesday
- Haircut 3:15 - 4:15
- Rehearsal 6:30 - 7:45
- Voice Lesson 8:00-8:30
Wednesday
- Rehearsal 6:00 - 8:00
Thursday
- Rehearsal 3:00 - 4:30
Friday
- Rehearsal 3:00 - 6:00
- Voice Rehearsal 7:00 - 8:00
- Study Party 8:00 - 11:30
Saturday
- Audition - 9:00
- Costume Fitting 10:30 - 12:00
- Meeting 2:45 - 3:45
- Party 8:00 - 12:00
Sunday
- STUDY

So basically, that ^ , along with loads of homework, does not equal for a very restful week.

At the party on Saturday, we were dancing, and my friend want a piggy-back ride while dancing. So, I let her. It morphed into her straddling my back while i was bent over, killing my thighs for 7 minutes. But it was fun.

And at my costume fitting, we found some freaking awesome costumes for me! I'm so excited for this show now! (Not that I wasn't before.)

Another thing - at the study party on Friday night, we played apples-to-apples at the end, and the describing (green card) word was "Flirtatious". I was horrible and put down "Family Vacations". It was funny.

I feel like I've accomplished so much this week. I guess that's a good thing, but I am also worn out and I wish I had more time to relax.

For the audition on Saturday, they only take the top 20% for the next round. I'm hoping some or all of the people from my singing studio that auditioned make it. (I think we have a good chance.)

Hmmm.... what else? ..... It sure doesn't feel like I've been back in school for only a week. It feels more like a month.

This next week should be a little easier. It's only exam week. That means that Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday we get out an hour early. We also don't have to go to school on Friday, which is nice. And then we have Monday off too! (4 DAY WEEKEND!) Also, I really don't have too much work to do the week of exams because teachers only tell you to study. I barely study. I only need to get Cs on all but one of my exams to get an A for the semester. That means I only have to study for AP Euro so I can get a B on the exam, and consequently a B for the semester.

Oh, and to make last week even better.... There was lots of juicy news about some people. Very juicy.

New Year = New Me

(In the following song, replace the word "day" with "year")



I feel like that song right now.

In this next year, I hope to discover myself and what I believe. The past year has been a true roller coaster. Some very significant things have happened in my life. However, I feel like many more significant things are going to happen in this upcoming year. (Don't you love how vague I am?)

Contrary to the title of this post, there will not be a new me. I will always be the same person I was before. I will only grow and come to understand things better than I do at the moment.

I will try to be a better friend. TRY!

I would say I'd try to be a better student and work harder... and yeah, I kind of want to... but, I kind of want to focus on a lot of other things at the same time. However, I do need to be more attentive to my homework and get it done when I get home from school so I don't stay up until 1 in the morning doing it.

Now I'm off to a dance party to bring in this new year! I hope everyone has a great 2009!